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Megan
Lopez
The youngest of three, and the first of them listed. Interactive design at Kennesaw State, two consecutive honour rolls, and a faith she runs on rather than merely holds. Terms are indefinite, the APR is zero, and no Lopez may be returned.
- 2Honour rolls, consecutive
- 3Languages, all of them markup
- 0Chance she won't inspect this page
She will open the dev tools. That was accounted for in the build.
Megan Lopez
Long-Term Partner Listing · Girlfriend (Aspiring)
- Faith: Catholic, and seriously so
- Study: Interactive Design · Kennesaw State
- Honours: Dean's List ’23 · President's List ’24
- Skills: HTML, CSS, JavaScript, Figma
- Position in family: Youngest of three
- Available immediately
- applications@lopez.loan
Objective
To be taken as seriously as she takes everything else. Seeking a partner who shares the faith and actually keeps it, who can be introduced to two older brothers without needing to be warned first, and who understands that a thing worth doing is worth doing at the standard she'd hold herself to. Willing to relocate. Not willing to ship it broken.
Executive Summary
Interactive design student at Kennesaw State, on the Dean's List in autumn 2023 and the President's List the autumn after — a trajectory, not an accident. Writes HTML, CSS and JavaScript; works in Figma and the Adobe suite. Has run a twenty-person team's logistics, led Bible studies, organised retreats, and spent a summer cleaning up other people's yards after a hurricane. The through-line is not design and it is not faith: it is that she is the one who makes sure the thing is actually set up before anybody else arrives.
Terms & Conditions (rider · forms part of the listing)
- The standardShe holds herself to one and will quietly hold you to it too. This is not nagging and it is not a test; it is simply the altitude she operates at, and it is contagious in the good direction.
- FaithNon-negotiable and not decorative. She leads Bible studies, runs retreats, and is the reason newcomers stop feeling like newcomers. A partner is expected to share it, not tolerate it.
- HospitalityShe will notice the person standing on their own at the edge of the room before you do, and she will go over. Expect to be left holding both drinks.
- The brothersTwo of them, older, twins — fraternal, so anyone expecting a matched set is briefly disappointed. They come with the listing and there is no clause permitting partial acceptance.
- CraftShe notices kerning. She notices when a link doesn't have a hover state. Do not tell her something is finished when it is merely done.
- Inspection rightsReserved, absolutely, and exercised without warning.
Core Competencies
Additional skills: usability testing, prototyping, running a room of twenty without appearing to run anything, remembering which newcomer said what, and knowing exactly how much frozen yogurt is a reasonable amount to give somebody having a bad day.
Professional Experience (all of it verifiable)
Unusually for this domain, none of the following is a bit. It is on her actual résumé, which is where it came from.
Interactive Design · Kennesaw State University
2021 – Present- Prototyping, front-end development, visual design and usability testing — the whole pipeline, formally.
- Dean's List autumn 2023. President's List autumn 2024. The order of those two is the point.
- Ships work that has been tested on somebody other than herself, which is rarer than it sounds.
Hospitality · Retreats, small groups, Bible study
Ongoing- Organises and runs small retreats end to end, which is mostly invisible work and entirely load-bearing.
- Leads Bible study. Mentors small groups. Does the follow-up afterwards, which is the part people skip.
- Runs the social events specifically so newcomers stop being newcomers. That is the stated goal, in her own words.
Team Manager · Girls' Basketball
2020 – 2021- Twenty players. Logistics, equipment, and making sure every last thing was set up before anybody arrived.
- Ran the errands nobody else wanted to run, for a year, without a title that reflected it.
Hurricane Relief Volunteer · Disaster-affected areas
Volunteer- Yard work and clearance so that other people's outdoor spaces were safe again.
- Unglamorous, uncredited, and on the résumé anyway — which tells you what she thinks counts.
Frozen Yogurt, Sweets & Game Cards · Lakepoint Station, Emerson GA
Jun 2022 – Apr 2023- Ten months of being the first friendly face somebody met on a bad day out.
- Restocking, inventory, and answering the same question several hundred times without visible strain.
Education & Certifications
- Enrolled: Kennesaw State University — BS, Interactive Design, since 2021.
- Honours: Dean's List, autumn 2023. President's List, autumn 2024. She improved on the first one, which is the more interesting fact.
- Sacraments: Catholic, practising, and the one in the family most likely to already be at Mass when you arrive.
- Certified: Will notice a two-pixel misalignment on a menu she is not responsible for and say nothing, visibly.
- Not certified: Cannot leave a room worse than she found it. This has been attempted and it does not take.
Applicant Requirements (what we're looking for in you)
Required
- Shares the Catholic faith, and keeps it rather than merely claims it
- Kind to the person at the edge of the room
- Finishes things properly, or says plainly that they aren't finished
- Can meet two older brothers without needing a briefing
Preferred
- Has made something and can talk about why it's the way it is
- Comfortable at a retreat and at the diner afterwards
- Notices effort without being told where to look
- Owns opinions about typefaces, or is willing to acquire some
Dealbreakers
- "It's fine, nobody will notice"
- Treats her faith as a phase to be waited out
- Rude to anyone in a service apron
- Needs to be asked twice to help set up
Compensation & Benefits
Vested immediately. Non-transferable. Not repayable, per the standing terms.
Quality Control
Everything you make gets a second pair of trained eyes, free, forever. She will find the thing. She will be gentle about the thing.
Spiritual Benefits
A standing invitation to Mass, to the study, and to the retreat. She'll introduce you to everyone and then check on you twenty minutes later.
Design Services
Your slides will stop looking like that. Your résumé will be fixed without being asked. Kerning you never knew was wrong will be quietly corrected.
Family Plan
Two older brothers, twins, included at no extra cost and with no opt-out. They are part of the package and they know it.
Frozen Yogurt Expertise
Ten months behind the counter. She knows the correct amount for a bad day and she will not be talked down from it.
Full Coverage
Answers on the first ring. Remembers the thing you were nervous about and asks how it went, on the right day.
Attachments (submitted unprompted)
Photographs enclosed. Nobody requested photographs. They are offered in support of the claims above, and at least three of them are evidence against the idea that she's only serious.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this a joke?
Yes. Also no. It's a joke that would be extremely pleased to be taken seriously by the right person.
Did she design this page?
No — and this is the awkward part. She is an interactive design student who writes HTML, CSS and JavaScript and works in Figma, which makes her the first person ever listed on one of these sites actually qualified to open the developer tools and mark it. The stylesheet was tidied before publication in full knowledge of that. She will still find something.
What's with the lending thing?
The domain was lopez.loan, and it was available. That's the entire origin of the metaphor. It falls apart the moment you press on it — nothing here is repayable, there's no schedule, and no Lopez may be returned.
Where are the brothers?
Adam is listed. Eric is still being written. They're fraternal twins, both older than her, and the youngest went first — which one of them has already remarked upon.
How serious is the faith, really?
She leads the Bible study and organises the retreats. It's on her résumé, above the frozen yogurt. That ordering was hers, not ours.
Who made this website?
A friend. Megan found out about it the same way you did, and her first question was about the type.
What if I'm not looking for anything serious?
Respect, and no hard feelings. Different listing, different terms. Best of luck out there.
References
Available on request, and there are more of them than she'd guess — every newcomer she ever walked over to and introduced to somebody remembers it, and she has largely forgotten. Expect her mother, a campus ministry, twenty former basketball players, and two older brothers who will be complimentary in a way that takes a moment to recognise as complimentary.
Ready to apply?
Submit an Application
No cover letter required. Say hello, tell her one true thing about yourself, and if you made the thing you're telling her about, say why it's the way it is. That's the part she'll read twice.
Applications reviewed personally. No bots, no recruiters, no "hey :)" and nothing else.